To amputate or not

We've been walking and rolling since 2010!

Valencia's story begins on the morning of June 4th 2010. I remember I had the day off and I was looking forward to getting a lot of stuff done that day. Valencia had other plans and so did God. They say you wanna hear God laugh then tell him your plans. 

It began like any other pregnancy I went into the hospital and quickly wanted an epidural I didn't want to feel not one single pain. No, I'm serious NOT.ONE.SINGLE. pain. lol. Valencia had other plans again, this little girl has been working on her own schedule since then. 

As I was dressed in my gown and awaiting little girl's arrival I heard a very scary noise. The machines started to beep and make an alarming sound (ya know the kind you don't want to hear when you are plugged up to them) doctors came and and I was quickly told that my baby was in distress and we needed to do a C-section ASAP. I went from calm to scared within seconds, everything was changing. Flashes occurred where I thought about her room and how I spent all that time making everything "just right" as if she'd actually give an opinion about her room lol but I wanted it to feel right. It was Winnie the Pooh and felt like a calming spa that I knew she'd be able to feel the love in. I wanted so much for her to experience it but at the time of the emergency my fear was that she never would. They rushed me into surgery to get her out as quickly as possible, that's when the real root of the problem was discovered. She was out within seconds and her heartrate was back to normal. A new discovery was made that would impact our lives and teach us the power of prayer, pride, and persistence. 

Valencia was wrapped up in both the umbical cord and the amniotic bands that were wrapped around her legs so tight they were nearly cutting off her legs. They immediately started to call in other doctors and began talks of having to amputate her legs. As I lay there unable to move (thanks spinal tap) they were checking her out and seeing what would need to be done. I remember just praying and praying please God keep her legs, keep her legs. I was scared and for the first time among many future feelings felt the first "mom guilt." Did I cause this? Did I do something wrong? The thoughts filled my head so fast I could barely keep count of all the doctors in the room. Let's also keep in mind I still hadn't seen her at this point, when the last pediatrician came in her legs were slowly starting to gain color back. Her legs would be saved.

They wrapped her up and put her next to my face so I could see her, she just licked my face as if to claim her property. Yes baby girl I am yours and you are mine and thus begins our journey.