Inclusion - Delusion

I guess I was naive, and didn't know it. Ha, that's literally the definition of what it means to be naive, but I was. I never once thought that someone would be excluded, shunned, or left out because of their inability to walk. I enjoyed my bubble that I was living in but I needed a wake up call, enter Valencia into Pre-K. 

Now, for those of you that may not know, I became a teacher to be there more for my daughter. I had been with my previous job (medical billing for a major hospital) for ten years and I was working my way up the ladder. It was however, time for a change and teaching offered me the opportunity to not only enjoy what I do but be there for my family more.  As a teacher your babies are allowed to attend the same school where you teach, at the time however, my campus didn't offer Prek 4 so I was forced to find an alternative. 

I was very sad about this because she wouldn't be with me and I would also have to pay for Prek, enter the tears for real, because if you have never had to pay for PreK then let me tell ya, it's not cheap $$$$. I was excited when I did realize though that the same school I went to when I was younger for after school care, offered PreK and they had an opening...this is perfect! It was perfect for the most part, there were a few hiccups which the daycare said they would be willing to work around. For example, V was walking (see previous post) but she would not be able to walk for long distances and would walk with a little limp. We didn't have a wheelchair or walker yet as we were still learning her condition and what all she would need. The school said they were o.k. with that and would provide her needs for her. I felt comfortable and excited for her to try their homemade biscuits and gravy (IYKYK 😉). 

Valencia's PreK picture

So, she went through the year and overall it was successful, they even moved her up a class because she was doing so well. It actually wasn't until we got to her graduation ceremony on her last day that we noticed something wasn't right. Her teacher walked up to the stage with her hand in hand but we saw that they didn't take into account Valencia's inability to stand for a long period of time. They didn't provide a chair next to her classmates or even allow her to sit at all, instead they had her stand against the guard rail and then didn't move her classmates next to her, so, Valencia was separated in essence from everyone else and just off to the side by herself. It was disheartening and made me question her entire school year and if she was mistreated throughout the year. I was sad but did not say anything as it was in the middle of her ceremony and didn't want to make a scene, also, this was her last day at this school. I learned a valuable lesson that day, that as a mother I have to live with but use the practice to best advocate for my daughter. Inclusion is a delusion, just because it feels like everyone should be automatically included it doesn't mean they are, either out of ignorance or shear unwillingness, I made sure it would never happen again. 

I would like to point out however, that this was an isolated incident, when I moved her to my campus the following year everyone and I do mean everyone on campus students included, loved on Valencia and accounted for her disability that made her feel safe, included, and thought about. This is how it should be and how it's been ever since. While I have had to advocate and educate on some occasions for her needs never have those requests been met with resistance or unwillingness. 

Remember parents advocacy means educating on what your child's needs are not treating ignorance with rudeness.